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Kevin Rudd Early Morning Jog  joke

Kevin Rudd was out jogging one morning along the harbour pathway near Kirribilli House in Sydney when he tripped, fell down a bank and landed in the water below. Before the Security detail guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water.

He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, ‘I want to go to Movie World in QLD’

Kevin said, ‘No problem, I’ll take you there on my special Prime Minister’s airplane.’

The second kid said, ‘I want a new pair of Speedo ‘SHARK’ bathers.’

Kevin said, ‘I’ll get them for you, and even have Ian Thorpe sign them!’

The third kid said, ‘ I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!’

Kevin was a little perplexed by this and said, ‘But you don’t look like you’re handicapped.’

The kid said, ‘I will be after my dad, tequila, finds out I saved your arse from drowning!’

The Pope and Kevin Rudd

The Pope and Kevin Rudd are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd, at the AFL Grand Final.

The Pope leaned towards Rudd and said, Do you know that with one little movement of my
hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary
display, like those believers in a football match, but go deep into their hearts, and they’ll forever
speak of this day and rejoice!”

Rudd replied, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me.”
So the Pope backhanded the bastard

Lemon Grove Farm at Mildura

A man applying for a job at a Mildura lemon grove seemed to
be far too qualified for the job.

The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you this; have
you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”

He replied: “I’ve been divorced three times, bought a
Pajero and I voted for Kevin Rudd.”

Question: If Krudd, Swan, Bob Brown and Julia Gillard took a boat ride outside of the Barrier reef and the boat sank, who would survive?

A: Australia

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Horse Racing